A Letter to Our True Trail Hares
Hello, and Happy New Year. We hope all of you T2H3 hashers are doing well while we wait out this fucking pandemic. We will be back on trail and onto our debaucherous ways soon enough.
We first want to thank ALL the hares that have stepped up to lay a trail this year. The response of people wanting to lay trail has been amazing and we appreciate everyone stepping up. The more you step up, the more your founders can enjoy the pack on trail. So Roooadie and Eager appreciate you and your efforts on every trail.
However, as more people hare, and do what they know, the things that make True Trail H3 different from other kennels has tended to become a bit diluted. Therefore, we would like to talk about how True Trail operates and how to maintain the True Trail culture. As always, these are guidelines and whatever trail you lay we will appreciate, at worst, we may give you a raft of shit and call you up for a crime in order to make you drink.
One of the key beliefs of True Trail H3 is that we don’t believe that haring a trail should be a huge financial burden. If planned correctly, it shouldn’t cost the hare anything. However, when Roadie and Eager sat down to figure out hash cash two years ago, we were thinking in terms of beer, not wine or other liquor drinks that about half of our pack now desire. This tends to cost more. Though our plan is not to do so now, but some time around our anal-versary, we will set hash cash to $8. This would raise the budget from $6 per head (who said head?) to $7 per head.
The important thing to remember is that T2H3 is not guaranteeing a full refund. T2H3 is only making $1 per halfmind. This money goes toward honor awards, haberdashery, special occasions, and Sexy Earth Day. At the moment, we will pay up to $6 per halfmind. The reality is, we are constantly working with halfminds, so we can’t rely on every hare to plan accordingly. Many hares want to do something special for a beer check drink, or they just bought too much beer. So when you turn in receipts, we will reimburse you for flour, chalk, Beer Check drinks, Circle Drinks, and down down swill. If we reimburse you for beer, any leftover beer becomes True Trail beer and should be forwarded on to the next trail regardless of how much you bought. This is to the benefit of the kennel and the next hare. In true hash fashion, any halfmind’s lack of planning or generosity will benefit the kennel.
A good rule of thumb is to buy 2.5 drinks per halfmind. Using the head count on the Facebook event is not accurate, but Eager will tend to think that all the people who say they are Going and about half the Maybes will go, so if we had 10 people say they are ‘Going’ and 6 people say ‘Maybe,’ he would buy 13 head x 2.5 beers/head = 33 beers for circle and beer check.
True Trail trails are intended to be laid live. Live trails are best laid when there are two hares. Live trails add sport to the hash by trying to catch the hare. Our marks are also intended to keep the pack together as much as possible, there are lots of opportunities to slow the FRBs down, both to keep them with the pack and keep them from catching the hare.
We also want to add debauchery and fun to our trails, so we do have Boob Checks and Dick Checks. Throwing in a Salmon Check or some other naughty activity is always a plus. I know our mood changes when we see boobs, but dicks and boobs on trail break down barriers and keep us from being too serious with each other. It is our lowest common denominator.
Please see the page with our T2H3 marks.
True Trail H3 trails are designed to be 3-5km-ish for Amblers and 6-8km-ish for the Dashers. The trail is intended to have a beer check at the halfway point of trail (not at the end). The Beer Check is just a time to stop and have a beer along the way. It is not the end of the trail where we walk back to the start. So please lay marks and hashers should be looking for marks after the Beer Check to the trail’s end. Being On-Hare is no fun.
In addition to the sport of catching the hare, we also have the sport of finding the end of trail (ON-IN). It is way too easy for hashers to give up on trail, and just go back to the start if they can’t find trail. So we generally don’t end at the Start (A to A). Unless there is a complete fuck-up (which happens), there is flour and there is trail, so we have to put on our problem solving hats and figure out where trail goes from the last check. As hares, we want to make it difficult, but not impossible for a halfmind to find. Marks do not have to be obvious, even if it is behind a tree, car, or building; the first mark should be at least visible while also in sight of the check. Putting a mark on the opposite side of a block or building is not good practice. We call trails A to A’ if the end is within 1 km of the start, and A to B if the end is over 1km. If a hare lays an A to B trail, they should arrange transportation for some or all of the pack.
As stated above, we want the entire pack to be together throughout the trail. This is not always possible, but if the trail allows, we would like to see the Amblers and Dashers share trail more than separately. Instead of having two completely separate trails for the Amblers and Dashers where they don’t see each other for more than a beer check, use the Ambler / Dasher split and merge more often and use the checks to slow the dashers down when sharing trail. There is nothing wrong with a good ‘All Song’ in the middle of trail. As a rule of thumb, Dashers can run 3 times farther than an Ambler, so if you lay a split on the end of a block, the Dasher can run around the block, while the Ambler walks down 1 side.
Remember, Ambler and Dasher does not equal Turkey and Eagle. Eager is primarily an Ambler, but loves shiggy, so he is always up for a good Eagle trail. An Eagle trail may end up being a bit longer, but an Eagle trail is more about the difficulty of the trail. Does it go straight up a hillside? Or bushwhack through brush, or maybe some water crossings? That would be an Eagle Trail. A Turkey Trail is your typical stroll down the sidewalk, or maybe less shiggy than the Eagle. Eager has laid a A-E / D-T split, where the Amblers took a short climb up a steep hillside through shiggy while the Dashers took the long open trail on a nice run only to meet at the top. This is not at all necessary, but just an idea as you lay trail.
I don’t think many people are used to writing good detrails, but the detrails set up the enthusiasm and excitement for the trail. It is a chance to tell the pack some bullshit about trail, and what it is about. It is also a chance for hashers to understand what they are about to face. Because EVERYONE goes on trail, even the Amblers may run into some serious shiggy at times, so it is always good to include a Shiggy Rating in your detrails. The Shiggy Rating is in the About Page on our website. Just put Shiggy: 3, or Shiggy: Ambler 1, Eagle 4 to give the halfmind an idea. T2H3 doesn’t want to cater to the lowest possible denominator, so knowing the Shiggy level allows the hasher to decide whether to go on trail or not.
Also let the pack know what kind of trail it is, meaning: A-A, A-A’, or A-B. This allows the hasher to plan what and how to pack. If you have an A-A’ or A-B trail, it is always nice to have a ‘Dry Car’ to take the hasher’s shit to the end. If you don’t, just put that in the detrails. No crime for not having a dry car.
Now not having a Dasher Trail or an Ambler Trail is an egregious crime. We want everyone to follow trail. We understand shit happens, and one trail or the other doesn’t happen, the worst that will happen is that we will make you drink, however, it would be great if the hashers know if it is an Ambler-only trail or a Dasher-only trail. It will make a difference in what they wear or if they will cum. So please put this in your detrails.
It is always helpful to tell halfminds what to bring. Eager always tells something useless like a compass or a map of Red Deer, but also puts in things like raincoats, ice cleats, headlamps etc. to help the hasher out.
The earlier you know what trail will look like the better. Please put as much detail into your Detrails as early as you can so people have something to look forward to. However, we understand that most halfminds can’t get their shit together until the week prior. Please get your Detrails in by Sunday Evening prior to the trail. If you don’t you will get barrage of Facebook messages bugging the shit out of you until you do. All hares have Host rights to their Facebook event. Edit the event and add your detrails in the description. If you just post them on the feed, they may get lost in the feed depending on how many people comment on the event.
Again, thank you for haring at True Trail H3. This letter is not intended to take down any trail that has already been laid, but to be clear about who T2H3 is, and what kind of trail we strive for. True Trail is different, and we want to provide a different offering than the other kennels. We just want to provide a different experience.
Eager Peevert and Rooodhouse!